remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Holy sore nipples Batman
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
