I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
