For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
