I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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