Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
