Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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