I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
