I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
