like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
