He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
