Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
