some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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