Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
