The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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