and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
