Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
