To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
