i don't like sucking hair
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
