the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
