Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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