Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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