She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize