After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
