Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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