YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
