I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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