Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
being pregnant is like rehab
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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