hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
