I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize