shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
