There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
