I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize