I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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