A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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