Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
