We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
