I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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