Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
