how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
