if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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