Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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