what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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