gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
