Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
