hotel room ftw
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
