go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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