At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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