I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
