i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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