Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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