Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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