I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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