I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
