I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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