drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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