I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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