just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
