i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
don't judge my taste in strippers
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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