An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
