I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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