I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think my moral compass just broke
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