I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize