probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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