you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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