I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
