forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
