i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize