As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
