I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
