My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
