he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
