if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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