normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
