think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize