I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
