Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am available for nakedness
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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