Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
