I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
