That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize