He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
