don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
