My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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