i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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