U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
