i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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