I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
