I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
no you cant smoke seaweed
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
