I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
