The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
